STOCKHOLM: The Nobel Prize foundation announced on Monday that the Ontario Government would be awarded the 2021 Nobel Peace Prize for granting Ontario workers affected by COVID 19 up to 3 days of paid sick leave off from work. 

“These are the kind of bravely humanitarian initiatives we want to highlight during these troubling times” noted Nobel Foundation Executive Director Vidar Helgesen during a press conference on Monday. “We wanted to make sure these remarkable acts of benevolence do not go unnoticed by the international public at large.”

Nobel Foundation Chairman Carl-Henrik Heldin also publicly celebrated the Ontario Worker Income Protection Benefit Program, calling the program “a historic win for labour and workers everywhere.”

“The sheer, unrestrained generosity of the Ontario government must be recognized with this gem of legislation. Not only has the Ontario government granted an abundance of up to 3 paid sick days for workers affected by COVID 19 – the provincial government has also, graciously decided to commit to the program for a remarkable 4 months, set to expire in September when the pandemic is expected to be finally over probably” added the Chairman. 

Ontario government officials were reportedly ecstatic to learn of the announcement from the Nobel Prize Foundation. “Honestly, it was just the responsible thing to do” noted Ontario Labour Minister Monte McNaughton while loosening his tie with a fatigued air during a press conference on Monday. 

“And this legislation couldn’t have been better timed, by us, to coincide with our National Day of Mourning on April 28th. This legislation is dedicated to all the workers who have served us tirelessly during the pandemic, often risking their lives, their safety, their physical and mental well being to keep our economy going. 

And what better way to honour their immeasurable sacrifice, then by approving these historic 3 days of paid sick leave? Workers everywhere, faced with the choice between losing their income for 2 weeks and continuing to work despite a COVID 19 diagnosis and the public health mandate to self-isolate for at least 2 weeks, can now, finally rest easy, for up to 3 of those 14 days..” McNaughton added, his voice trailing off as he receded into the shadows behind the podium. 

Sounds of exuberant jubilation reportedly erupted across the province after the government announced it’s sick leave program. Crowds gathered, despite lockdown restrictions in place to celebrate the historic legislation, dancing with wild, ecstatic abandon. Chants such as “Doug Ford is Good to Go!” and heartfelt renditions of “Free at Last” could be heard late into the night on Monday evening. 

While applauding the spirited celebrations of Ontarians, Premiere Doug Ford also cautioned the jubilant masses to maintain COVID safety measures. “I get it folks, we have so much to be grateful for on this historic occasion. But please remember, we are still in the midst of a deadly pandemic, but only for another 4 months, so let’s remain ever vigilant in the meantime. Now get back to work!”

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